Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss, Book review
Negotiations and Hostages?
We continue our business book review series two with one of the most prolific small business book recommendations, written by Chris Voss in 2016, Never Split the Difference. (ISBN: 978-1847941497). This book is considered one of the go-to books on negotiations, teaching for a business audience how to do negotiations, to understand the dynamics and psychology as well as giving tips, and strategies. Negotiations and in general relationship building in business, is often considered one of the most dreaded types of interactions that many small business owners will have to engage in over the course of their journey so the books premise and content, does hit a spot specifically for many readers, and the authors audience is clearly the business space. A quick word on the author here is relevant as much of this book draws specifically from his own experiences, as a top level FBI hostage negotiator and his stories, and examples from that life, cover the book throughout, with a range of positive and negative outcomes being clearly referenced in chapters as illustration of the lessons the author learned while negotiating and is trying to through the book share with you.
High Speed?
Each chapter of this book starts with a story, of some exciting hostage or criminal event that the author dealt with or supported on. Dramatic stories of life and death, of desperate people and the people that work to rescue them. The hostage negotiator who is a voice of reason calm and support that brings things to a safe and calm resolution is a picture that I think most people will appreciate and this book has a lot of these stories, each chapter starts with them. There are some examples from the authors post FBI career from working with clients as a negotiation trainer about his own business negotiations and stories referred to him by his students and alumni however these are secondary stories that cement his points and explain or reinforce the clear messages that he is providing. I do want to callout these stories however as the nature of them may make it hard to appreciate or understand their context to business negotiations. However, I feel the author does a good job of making his point from high-speed danger zone to the negotiation table, by abstracting the points he wants to make well.
The author uses his examples to share both techniques, as well as thoughts starters for the reader, about negotiation situations. The range of techniques discussed include how to talk with a counterpart in a negotiation, in ways that will both put them at ease for example but changing your tone of voice and infliction, putting them at ease. Aggressive is not a good negotiation posture. He tells you how to use questions and how you ask and answer questions to put your counterpart in a position to reveal information and adopt more of your point of view. There are chapters on how to turn a negotiation into a collaborative problem-solving event, as well as how to persuade your counterpart. All these techniques and observational tools are taught in a mixture of the examples provided and practical directions.
One example to highlight is a specific verbal tactic, which I really appreciated, and this is just one of a range of methods discussed in the book, called Labelling. In this while negotiating we try to through empathy understand what an issue or problem for the counterpart might be and put it on the table, instead of avoiding the issue or letting it fester over time, we call it out, we label the problem in the open and call it out. This manifests fears and concerns, giving them both the time and space to be both discussed and evaluated making doubt and concern less likely to get out of hand. The labelling let the negative and doubt be come realities that can be addressed.
I really appreciate this having had conversations and discussion become derailed by both my own doubts and fears as well as the counterparts same. It’s a simple idea advocated by Shrek as better out then in. The author speaks clearly of empathy and understanding as well as working to be collaborative in negotiation seeking to take the confrontation approach that is commonly taught or thought about negotiation into a different direction.
The book itself is well written, exciting, and well explains it’s points and tactics with chapter summaries highlighting the key points, which I appreciated given at times this reads like a thriller. I also appreciated the author providing several examples in which his own skills failed the negotiation he speaks of with negative outcomes, showing that in failure you often learn more.
Summary
We have a clear master of the art of negotiation, in our author, we can’t argue with his experience, or the way in which he delivers it in his book. I felt that the examples, the discussion and the outline of the methods discussed were well communicated and could be picked up and applied. I would say that I am also apprehensive in some ways as I’m not sure that all the lessons provided apply to all situations so they should be applied as necessary. I think anyone that can take on board a stronger awareness of the mechanisms of negotiation as well as one or two tools from this comprehensive book, will be a stronger businessperson for it. Learning all the content and being comfortable in their use is a question of time but I feel that I’ve learned from this book and will be revisiting it in the future for more notes and details. I believe this book helps remove some of the stigma and fear from negotiations which for me is also a benefit. I would recommend this book for anyone with an interest in the dynamics of business conversations and communication in general as well as most businesspeople who must make agreements on the daily.
Thank you for your time and attention,
If you´re finding that you need help in negotiating your next deal or build out your next project then please give us an email (timh@department45.eu) or a DM on our instagram we’ll be happy to set up a free first hour to review how we can support you and your business build to the goals that you’re looking for.
Tim H.
Lead Consultant,
